Good touch and Bad touch

October 15, 2018

Nowadays, we hear a lot about child abuse and molestation. Every single day, the media reports such cases where young children, both boys and girls, are sexually abused by an adult around them. The problem is, that they do not even know what is happening because most of the time, targets are very young children, below 6-7 years of age as they are too young to understand the difference between right and wrong. We should start teaching young children about “Good Touch Bad Touch” to help prevent more damage as it is high time and alarming situation for parents to come in action.

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room–physical abuse. It’s something that most parents have a hard time talking about. However, awareness is power. It’s important that we create opportunities to talk to our children about what a good touch is and what is not.

Ways to educate the kids about their body parts

1. Teach children the correct names of all their different body parts, including their private body parts. Children often find it hard to tell about sexual abuse because they don’t know the words to use. Learning correct (anatomical) words for private body parts gives children the words to use and helps them know that it is okay to talk about those body parts. When teaching your young child the different body parts, consider using the correct words for private body parts along with words such as “tummy” and “ears.” You can give older children more information because they are able to understand more. You can also explain that the parts of their bodies covered by a swimsuit or undergarments are their private body parts.

2. Teach children that “they are the boss of their body.” Let your children know that they are in control of who touches their bodies and how. Model this for children: “I don’t want you to jump up and down on me. Please stop.” Likewise, immediately respect their wishes not to be touched in certain ways. “Looks like you don’t want me to pick you up right now. Okay.” As you supervise your children’s interactions, make it clear that they need to stop tickling or roughhousing if a sibling says “Stop!” In addition, do not insist that your children give or receive hugs or kisses from relatives and friends if they do not wish to. This teaches children that it’s okay to say no to touches from people in their family and others they know. Some relatives might expect a hug from your children every time they see them. Tell relatives that you are teaching your children to be bosses of their bodies as part of teaching them safety about touching, so they are not offended by your children’s behavior.

3. Explain to your child that there are three kinds of touches. The three kinds of touches are:

Safe touches-These are touches that keep children safe and are good for them, and that make children feel cared for and important. Safe touches can include hugging, pats on the back, and an arm around the shoulder. Safe touches can also include touches that might hurt, such as removing a splinter. Explain to children that when you remove a splinter, you are doing so to keep them healthy, which makes it a safe touch.

 

Unsafe touches- These are touches that hurt children’s bodies or feelings (for example, hitting, pushing, pinching, and kicking). Teach children that these kinds of touches are not okay.

Unwanted touches-These are touches that might be safe but that a child doesn’t want from that person or at that moment. It is okay for a child to say “no” to an unwanted touch, even if it is from a familiar person. Help your children practice saying “no” in a strong, yet polite voice. This will help children learn to set personal boundaries. Become Your Child’s Best Friend – Spend quality time with your children. Listen to them when they are sharing about what they did during the day. Assure them that they can share anything with you.

Make Them Understand the Difference Between Good and Bad Touch

1. Good Touch – It feels, pleasant and good, it is a way to show care, love and help. Explain with the help of examples like when mommy hugs you or papa gives you a goodnight kiss or your grandparents hold you in their arms and you hold your friend’s hands while playing.

2. Bad Touch – Touches that make you uncomfortable and you feel unpleasant and you want to stop it there and then. Again, use some examples to explain them like, it is a bad touch if you feel hurt, if you do not want to be touched, if someone touches your private parts without a reason, if someone touches you and tells you not to tell anyone, all these are examples of a bad touch.

What do the kids do when someone touches them in the wrong way?

 

 

  • Say no! Tell the person that you don’t like it and you don’t want to be touched.
  • Get away fast! Run away from the person whose touch you don’t like. Never stay alone with that person ever again.
  • Call for help. You can scream.
  • Believe in yourself. You did nothing wrong.

  • If someone touches you in the wrong way, tell someone you trust what has happened. Don’t let threats scare you into running away or keeping quiet. When a person touches you and asks you to keep it a secret between the two of you, ask yourself, “Does the secret bother me?”
  • Don’t keep secrets that make you feel uncomfortable. Go to a person you trust-a parent, a relative, a teacher, or your doctor. If the person you go to doesn’t believe you, go to someone else you trust until someone believes you and helps you.
  • Do everything you can to stay away from the person who is touching you in the wrong way or making you feel uncomfortable. Don’t stay alone with a person who touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable or makes you feel unsafe.
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